Having kids means constant messes. Backpacks, balls, games, clothes, food — the list of untidy items never ends.
Much of this is normal! Families are made up of people, and people have to live. And living isn’t neat.
But, an untidy house can go from normal to insane pretty quickly. Trust us — we have seven kids and the oldest is only 13. We run a business. We coach tennis. We homeschool. We’re always hurrying, and it’s tough to find the time to clean up.
One thing that helps us is focusing on the reasons behind what we do. At The Manners Coach, we believe that having good manners isn’t really about saying “please” and “thank you.” It’s about loving others through the way we conduct ourselves.
When it comes to cleaning up, we understand that it’s an issue of consideration. What are our kids thinking about more? Their own plans or others?
If they’re thinking about their plans, it makes sense to leave their shoes right beside the door, put the class library books back in the wrong place, or leave game pieces out on the floor. It’s quicker and easier to do it that way, and it lets them get on with their day.
But if they’re thinking about others in their family or classroom, they’ll realize that someone might trip on their shoes, be unable to find a book, or have to go hunting for a game piece that got kicked under a chair.
These are all things to focus on in daily life. But what about when someone visits our home or classroom? How should we approach preparing our space for them?
I remember this being a particular annoyance for me as a child. I would roll my eyes at my mother when she asked us to clean the house before company came.
“Who cares?” I complained. “They’re coming to see us, not the house.”
“But it will make them feel welcome to come into a clean house,” she would answer.
And I’d flounce and huff while I vacuumed or cleaned the bathroom or folded laundry.
Now, I understand what she was talking about.
Cleaning up the house or straightening the classroom before people visit isn’t about impressing them. It’s about getting the shoes out of the way so they can open the front door. It’s about clearing the lunch dishes off the table so they have somewhere to sit for dinner. It’s about getting the card game off the couch so they don’t feel like they’re in the way of our life.
It’s likely that your kids and students don’t understand why it’s so important that they pick up their toys and games. You’re raising and teaching independent and inquisitive children, and that’s great! But it also means that they’re going to do better obeying a rule when they know why they should.
Use this post and the videos linked below to start conversations with your kids and students about what they’re saying when they choose not to clean up, and how they’re enriching the lives of their parents, teachers, friends, and siblings simply by putting things away.
Related videos:
Putting away backpacks, shoes, and sports gear:
Shutting drawers:
Cleaning up for visitors:
Keeping the bathroom neat: