If you follow us on Instagram (read: please follow us on Instagram @the_manners_coach), you can probably tell that we’ve been spending lots of time at the beach.

Since we saw a lot of other families there, too, we’re betting that you guys also have summer vacation plans.

But we want to know: are your family vacations really a vacation for you? Or do you feel like you spend your time corralling your kids and trying to make them behave appropriately?

Don’t worry — this is normal. That’s why we’ve written this post: to help burnt-out moms and dads find a way to make vacation truly relaxing.

As with every topic we explore here at the Manners Coach, we believe that teaching your kids to behave on vacation is about teaching them to consider others.

Kids can be shy when visiting family, especially relatives they don’t see often. Coach your kids to smile and say hello. Come up with conversation starters they can use: “The flowers on your windowsill are so pretty! Did you grow them yourself?” “This meal was delicious! Where’d you learn to cook it?”

The concept of focusing on others applies to traveling abroad too. Your kids might think (or even say) that other languages, ways of dressing, or foods are silly, strange, or gross. Again, this is normal. It’s your job to re-frame their thinking.

Explain to them that, just because someone speaks, dresses, or eats differently, that doesn’t mean they’re strange. They’re just following (and likely enjoying) the customs of their culture. Teach your kids that staring or making fun of others who are different than them is unkind and unfair.

In any vacation situation, teaching your kids to consider other guests, visitors, and tourists will help make your vacation the most peaceful one yet.

Check out our traveling & vacation videos for more on this topic!