Social interactions can be tough.
As we get older, it tends to get easier. We’ve had more practice dealing with all kinds of people in all kinds of situations.
For our kids, it’s harder. They haven’t had the chance to go to as many parties, have as many friends over, or live next to as many neighbors. They’re not going to know how to conduct themselves socially unless we help them.
To help our kids be socially adept, we must teach them to consider others around them.
When they invite a friend over to play, we should coach them in the proper way to greet them at the door and defer to their wishes throughout the play date.
When friends come over to watch a season finale or a football game, we should guide them to speak quietly and keep from walking in front of the TV.
When someone asks to join their tennis game at the park, we should teach them how to introduce themselves and make the newcomer feel welcome.
You know all this, though. You know that this is how your kids should behave, and you’ve probably tried to teach them these things. You’re probably reading this post because they haven’t figured it out.
Instead of repeating instructions again, try flipping the situation on your kids.
Ask, “Would it be fun to play a game with someone who got angry every time you won?
“How would your heart feel if you asked your friends if you could join their game and they whispered to each other and then told you no?”
They’re going to tell you that they would get angry or sad. Then you can say, “That’s how your friends feel when you treat them that way.”
It’s often hard for me to remember that others are just as sensitive as I am. I say and do things without thinking because I fail to consider that others feel just as deeply as I do and have insecurities that are just as insidious. If it’s tough for me as an adult, it will be even harder for our kids to think this way.
It might not be instantaneous, but getting our kids into the habit of thinking about how their actions and words make others feel will help them grow. They’ll become socially conscious, and, more importantly, kind.
Watch these friendship and social videos with your kids to get conversations started.
Welcoming someone new:
Speaking kindly to others:
Being a good sport: